Photo: My attempt at making Valentine’s Day breakfast fun.
One slice was slathered in more mustard than I have even imagined to fit on a piece of bread, the other slice thick with mayonnaise. Liver-worst cut into thick chunks and tomato slices liberally placed appeared to have completed the interesting sandwich. However, she wasn’t finished yet. Her plan was to add both a salami and a cheese slice.
Oh, how I wish I had just let her.
Instead, like so many times before, I overreacted and told her to stop. “That’s enough,” I said as I placed the mustard side piece of bread on top of the rest.
She defiantly took it back off and asked for half a piece of cheese.
Oh, how I wish I had taken her up on her compromise.
Food is so expensive. Feeding our large family is so expensive. Feeding kids who overeat and try to put as many items on their plate as possible is really, really expensive. I put the bread back on the sandwich. She took it back off.
She is stubborn. So am I.
One last time, I placed the piece of bread onto her sandwich. “Then I’m not eating,” she announced. “Then go to your room,” I contorted. She did.
Had I won against a strong-willed child? No, I had made a mistake and fought the wrong battle.
The whole thing reminded me of when she first came home and didn’t obey a single thing that was asked of her. The glare she gave me with her darkened pupils made me feel like we were back in those first few months of disregulation and misunderstandings.
The thing is, my child has known hunger. She wants control of something in her life, and food is one thing that she could potentially have some control of-if I let her. It’s not easy. She mutilates every meal, smashing everything together or peeling it apart to eat every item separately. She eats foods with her fingers that the rest of us would eat with a utensil. She creates food like she creates art, strange and different.
And guess what? It doesn’t hurt anyone or anything. Overall, she makes healthy food choices. When she packs her lunchbox, she prefers fruits and raw veggies to crackers or packaged snacks.
Yes, I knew I had chosen the wrong battle with her. So, I humbled myself, climbed the stairs to her room, and sat next to her on her bed where she had wrapped herself burrito style in her fleece blanket.
“Hey,” I started. “When I was a little girl, we didn’t have a lot of money, and we used to eat liver-worst sandwiches by themselves. But it’s not really a big deal if you want to make your sandwich the way you like it. I’m proud of you for making healthy choices when you pack your lunch for school.”
She grinned at me. She came back to the kitchen, finished making her sandwich without me micromanaging her, and I didn’t watch her eat it, because eww.
Is food a trigger for either you or your kids?